We Both Want Apples

Sometimes a negotiation needs an agreement to get started.

Not a big agreement. Just something that the parties acknowledge works for both to demonstrate “we can close issues together.”

For example, if you have a bunch of big issues and little issues, agree on the little issues first. It creates a cadence of collaboration and a feeling of accomplishment: “Hey, we agreed on something!”

Generating positive energy is critical to a successful negotiation.

Breaking down big issues into smaller parts is also a great way to solve the bigger issues. In a recent discussion with a colleague who was trying to work through a termination scenario, she said the parties were stuck on how to solve for a key point. They had stalled because each was asking for different outcomes.

“Think of it this way, John,” she said. “They want apples and oranges, and we want lemons and apples.”

I replied, “Well, the good thing is we both want apples. So let’s agree on the apples, and just focus on the oranges and lemons.”

This works especially well when the “big” issue is about money. Years ago, when I was negotiating for a settlement of a dispute, the client said it owed my company $1 million, and my company was seeking $1.3 million. I understood why the client was taking issue with the last $300,000; they weren’t being positional, they just didn’t agree with how we valued our work.

I promised I would share their view with my leadership. “But,” I said, “if you say you owe us $1 million, and we say you owe us $1.3 million, then we both agree you owe us $1 million. So, if you pay the $1 million, my leadership will see that as a great sign of trust and progress toward working out the dispute.”

The client agreed to pay the $1 million, and we were left with a dispute of $300,000, which seemed much more manageable. I was able to present the client’s perspective to my leadership and, because the whole dynamic of the negotiation had changed due to their payment, my company saw the situation in a different light and agreed to reduce the demand so we could sign the settlement.

Many negotiations start with the question, “So which issues will we tackle first, the big rocks or the small rocks?” Starting with the “big rocks,” or toughest issues, will just reinforce the notion that “we don’t agree.” Focus instead on what the parties agree on and create momentum. You will also reduce your issue list, making the rest of the negotiation seem more manageable.