It is, by far, the teaser that makes me smile most: anything
claiming to be a “secret” which is published in a news article, book or on an online
platform used by millions of people.
Ever see a headline that broadcasts something like, “This
restaurant is Milwaukee’s best kept secret!” First of all, if it was a secret,
it’s not anymore; and second, what restaurant owner wants her place to be a secret?
But I’ll play along and here it is: The secrets of great
negotiators, revealed! The secret is there are no secrets. Everything anyone
has had to say about negotiations is in the marketplace as an article, book,
video or training. And the best, most disciplined negotiators have read and
watched as much of it as they can and leveraged it to make themselves better.
What I will tell you, that you may not know, is that there
is a misconception about how experienced business negotiators view their
counterparts and the goal of the negotiations: the truth is, we don’t want to win.
The best negotiators in the business want to solve problems.
And what we hope we will see on the other side of the table is another problem
solver. Why? Problem solvers get better results for themselves and the other
party. They create outcomes that maximize the potential value of the engagement
and, in the end, build better relationships between the parties.
I would rather work with a negotiator who knows as much or
more than I do about disciplined negotiations than deal with an inexperienced,
positional bargainer who is trying to “break my bottom line” and “win.” That
may be fun when buying a car and walking away from the dealership. But in the
services business, in which the relationship is ongoing, both parties benefit
from the strength and depth of a trusted relationship, not a transactional
relationship. Focusing on “beating" the other party does not build trust.
Which is why I write these articles. My goal is to help everyone
get better at selling, negotiating and deal-making, so when I sit across the
table from someone, we can collaborate and drive greater efficiency and value
generation for our companies and our clients.
Now you know my secret!
