There are several ways to join two pieces of wood together.
A hammer and a nail is one way. A screw and a screwdriver is
another. You can also use adhesive. And sometimes a clamp works best.
If you’re building a house and framing the walls, you’d use
a nail gun. You want to work quickly and you don’t care what the wood looks
like when you’re done.
If you’re making a china cabinet out of mahogany, adhesives
and small screws in pre-drilled holes to join the pieces would likely produce a
better aesthetic.
Likewise, there are multiple ways to negotiate a deal, and
which one you choose depends on the situation. In the end, it all depends on the
answer to a simple question: what do you want?
If you are at a stop sign or getting on an elevator, you
want to move along. Who goes first is not going to be a lengthy discussion and
there will be no “so tell me about yourself” conversations. If we follow the
rules, the negotiation will be quick and we will all get on our way. Goal:
expediency.
When you and a significant other are discussing where to go
for a vacation (and, yes, that is a negotiation) the idea, usually, is to go on
vacation… together! If you get what you want and your other gets what they want,
you may end up in different places! Goal: relationship.
When buying a new car, you try to get the best deal you can.
So does the dealership. This is a “positional” negotiation. You use data to
work down the price. The dealership tries to see how long it can resist. You
probably don’t care about the “relationship” (and the dealer may or may not
care). Goal: lowest price.
But when we negotiate for large business agreements that
involve collaboration and multiple years of services, we have to combine the substance
and the relationship in order to achieve the optimal outcome for both parties. If
one side is focused on trying to squeeze every concession out of the other side
for the sake of “winning,” the outcome is both sides lose. Usually, in a
multi-year services deal, the goal is “success”: get the system installed; improve
the quality of services; drive cost out of operations.
If the engagement is a failure, no one ever asks, “But did
you get a good price?”
You can make a china cabinet from pine boards
with a nail gun. Just don’t expect anyone to slap you on the back and say, “That's a beautiful piece of work! I'm proud to showcase it in my dining room!" Like a complex business engagement, no one is satisfied when it's cheap and fast, but not very good.
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