Several times in my career I have been asked to help resolve
a particularly difficult situation because the team said they needed “a tough
negotiator.”
The notion of the “tough" negotiator has a cache to business
folks, fostered by the likes of William Shatner on Priceline commercials,
performing karate moves to get the deal he wants. My response has always been
to say, “If you’re looking for a tough negotiator, you called the wrong guy. I
am a disciplined and collaborative negotiator. I’m not tough.”
Frankly, I don’t know what it means to be a “tough”
negotiator. I imagine what people equate with “toughness” is an undisciplined,
stubborn, positional negotiator. One who thinks “win-win” means they win twice,
and the other side loses twice. One who lacks the creativity and confidence to
dig deeper and find hidden opportunity for collaboration in an engagement that
would create more value. I have encountered that style at large manufacturing and
retail companies that treat all vendors like they are selling commodities. All
that matters is price. That shortsightedness is costing them dearly in the
marketplace because it limits a service provider’s ability to bring innovation
that might provide the client a competitive edge.
The latest poster child for “tough” negotiators is Donald
Trump, who fancies himself as a master deal-maker. Mr. Trump has obviously had
success. What we don’t know is how much more success he could have had using a
different negotiation style. From his outward appearances, Mr. Trump seems to
favor a bullying kind of style, one that drives the other party to concessions
so he gets what he wants. He proudly stated that he would build a wall between
the U.S. and Mexico and get Mexico to pay for it because he’s that good as a
negotiator. If I were the president of Mexico, I would prepare my team for that
discussion with one key caveat: we will never agree to pay for the wall. I don’t know what Mr. Trump’s style is once he
gets in the room. Perhaps this is an act he puts on and is highly collaborative
at the negotiation table, sort of a one-man “good cop/bad cop.”
The potential problem with Mr. Trump’s style is it does not
engender trust in the discussions, leading to lost value in the deal. People
often talk of not leaving money “on the table.” I prefer to say “don’t leave
money under the table.” It’s easy to see the money on the table. It takes a
special deal team to bring trust to a relationship so that both parties work
together to find the hidden value in the deal. That requires appreciation for
the other party’s interests; creativity in generating options and legitimacy in
the asks of either side.
“Tough” negotiators don’t care about the other party’s
interests. “Tough” negotiators have only one set of options; their own. And with
a “tough” negotiator, legitimacy or fairness in demands is always a test of the
other party’s BATNA.
So while it might seem impressive to hear of “tough" negotiators who “break” the other side in a negotiation, ask yourself: where does
such behavior leave the relationship? Has is maximized the value the parties could
have built together? And next time, will the other side look forward to an opportunity
to do business again? Or will they use it as a chance to “get even” based on
their previous experience?
